You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry
out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to
the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native
language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
John 8:44
She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her:
“You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees
me.” Genesis 16:13
Isn't it amazing the lies we allow the devil to plant in our minds? These seeds of doubt get planted, and rather than dig up the seed we allow it to stay. We ponder over it, cultivate it & repeat it to ourselves until it becomes a type of truth...a mantra if you will... our mind believes. Oh how we can allow Satan to make us our own worst enemy.
The lie I am currently fighting has to do with the size of my clothes. When I started this journey in July I was in a tight 24 pant, 3X shirts & 44DDD bra. I hated buying clothes! HATED!!! I had become a champ at berating myself. I needed no enemy's... I was doing a better job at that than anyone else could! I currently can wear a size 18 comfortably (no muffin top!!), a size XL shirt & 40DD bra (a "blessing" I have inherited I'm afraid will never get much smaller!). Written down these number look great! Yes I wanna be smaller, but on paper these numbers thrill me!! But then I look at the clothes...( this is where that ole serpent likes to make his entrance) and I see these articles of clothing and I just can't get my mind to grasp that I can actually fit in these. My mind goes into a panic type mode... These are to small... You'll never look good in these...You shouldn't have gotten rid of your bigger clothes...You are gonna look like a pig squeezed into a too small shirt...What are people gonna say about you in this...You're gonna look fat...You really need to just stop trying to look decent...63lbs isn't really THAT much weight to have lost... You can't really tell you've lost that much weight... You're still fat...You can't do it...You're not a success...You are a failure... You need to just give up now...What's the point...You're gonna gain it all back anyway...OH MY WORD!!! It's like a war zone in my head. See how the devil can take one tiny lie & blow it up into a million big ones...and all of it over an article of clothing. Finally I yell (sometimes literally) SHUT UP!!!!!!! I say a prayer & against all of my minds persistent yells of defeat I put the clothes on anyway and stand in front of a mirror... And I see me.The jeans hug my newer sleeker curves nicely, but not in a vulgar way. The shirt slips on easily & fits great with no pulling at seams. I look in the mirror and see who I really am...I see the me emerging that God created me to be. I see who God sees when He looks at me.
Friends, I am not perfect. I have slip up & I have total fall downs. I can soar one moment & be broken on the ground the next. My life has been through many battles, some self-imposed. But I have learned through all of this the truth of all truths. My God sees me & loves me! Even when I cannot love myself, even when I make mistakes on the journey He has placed me on, even when my mind tries to listen to the lies of the enemy..He is still and forever will be El Roi... The God who sees me! The God who knows my inner most being and STILL sent His son to die for me. The God who loves me no matter what my pant size is. The God who loves me so much that His desire is for me to see me the way He sees me. The God who loves me in my brokenness & who loves me to much to leave me in that place.
Can you remember this truth today? When you slip up, when lies try to sneak into your head. Remember, The God that sees you... He loves you. And there is nothing you can do, no lie that can be said & no pant size you can wear that will EVER change that!
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